I was always intrigued by unhappy endings in love stories.

It captivated me.Tantalized.


I didn't want it for myself though.

I HATE YOU!

I hate you for everything you did to me.

I hate you for being so shameless.

I fucking hate you.

I'm erasing you. Slowly and gradually I'm sure I will completely write you off.
I get stuck on whether I should forgive you or not.
If I don't..a part of you will always remain with me. If I do , it would mean letting you and all the baggage along with it  - go. Just let go ..fade away with layers of dust.So that I would never be able to withdraw the envelopes.
 That would be a good thing to do..but then I wonder why is it not coming easy to forgive you ?

I've reached a point where I don't demand answers. I guess there is nothing to answer.
And that is changing things.. that is to say even when I am hurting every time I think of all this..I hardly cry. I hardly yell inside.
Not wanting to know anything anymore has turned into a mechanism of its own kind - leaving me bittersweet , yet helping me pull along , pushing me to give up and move on.

It will always be a sad end for me. I took chances.So maybe there is nothing to regret. I didn't want to believe you were bad because that is the extent to which I liked you.
Just liked you , a lot lot , but only liked.
Nothing more. Nothing less.

Wish you'd known that and having known that , had some respect for our relation.

I could only wish. Its that sad.

letting you go off is getting difficult..am holding you back tight with all the memories wrapped around...why would you hurt me so much..why would you not care once....

You drilled a hole in my heart.

I'm not afraid that I won't fall in love.

I'm afraid that I won't be loved back.

Again.

And he comes back.

Why are you back ?

And why can't I resist you  even now?